Being Fluid

Robin McCauley

A deep fathomless swirling
Endless and dark
Warm and comforting,
Like a blanket wrapped around you
On a wet winter’s day
Sweeping currents
Endless water
Something neither masculine nor feminine
Androgynous,
But not in the sense of being connected to a binary, even as
its opposite
I am fluid and shifting
Gently like a boat on the sea
A gentle caress
The way water must feel to a fish
I am fluid, and I am here
I am a gender that defies explanation
Except as a deep ocean current
A slowly sweeping darkness
Not devoid of life,
But full of the life that survives all
I am that which nurtures,
Flowing gently
I am the warm that caresses
That that has never known cold
And I am the scales that give armor
To that which swims through my depths
But I am fluid,
And as this feeling ebbs away I’m left feeling hollow
For what is being a man
Compared to being an ocean
What is being a woman
Compared to being a warm caress
What is being Agender, or Non-binary,
When I have felt a dark and flowing love of me