Aylee Gabourel
It starts with the way my heart stutters
before my mine even understands why
like some part of me knows you’re near
before I see you.
Your presence enters the room first,
and suddenly I’m already undone.
When you look at me, it’s never casual.
It’s slow, deliberate, dangerous.
Your eyes find mine and for a second you hold them,
and I feel things that I don’t want to feel.
I feel warmth blooming where doubt once lived,
hope pressing its hands against my chest.
Don’t look away I beg without speaking.
Stay.
Because at that moment, I exist in the way I’ve always wanted to.
When you talked to me, when you comfort me,
when you stand close and meet my eyes,
when your hand touches mine,the world narrows to the space between us.
Your voice softens, my breath forgets itself,
and all I can think about is how natural it would feel to kiss you
Not rushed, not reckless but sincere, like it’s been waiting its turn.
You make me believe I’m wanted. You make me choose until you don’t.
Some days you pass by me like I’m air.
No glance. No smile.
Like I never mattered at all.
It hurts in a way I didn’t know pain could
my heart breaks quietly and my spirit crushed
I replay every word, every look, wondering which version of you is real
and which one I imagined because I wanted it so badly.
Loving you feels like I’m standing in sunlight one moment and freezing the next,
Happy and shattered at the same time.
If this is what desire feels like, no wonder it hurts
because every time you see me,
I fall,
and every time you don’t,
I break.