Derrick Ashford
I close my eyes, for
merely a moment,
and wish that I could
Grab the hands of time
and reverse their work,
just for a few years. I would
Find the little black boy in
the Chicago suburb who looks like
me, but filled with life and could
Brighten anyone’s life, and tell him
that grandfather was right with
His teachings.
That little black boy, eyes full of
wonder and fear of growing up, lost himself
in the various books he was reading.
The worlds he saw in his dreams
Inspired him to see them in the waking
World, places where lions can be eating
With zebras, waterfalls abundant
And varied as the clouds in the
Watercolor blue of the sky.
His plans of grand adventure were
Undone by time and the other boys who
Thought a boy like him should die
Alone without letting history’s pen know
His name. Those other boys couldn’t see
How particularly high
The dreams they crushed were. That
little black boy cried alone, lost access
To the dreams he once had,
And thought he hated everything.
But I know that little black boy,
And I know he didn’t have enough hate
In his bones. He was hurt, so deeply
In his soul that he closed the gate to
his heart, not letting love in as he waited
to disappear within the valley of his
tears.
This moment is where I want to return
Time to. I would be the one to hug that
little black boy. Protect him from the fears
He gained from his time in Hell, let him
Cry as long as he needed in my arms,
Assure that his dreams, no matter how queer
Or insane they seemed, are being met.
I carry the dreams he once had on my
shoulders proudly, and I do so with a smile.
I only wish to hug him for just a little,
Not to undo the pain that made him grow up,
Not to freeze time in place. I’ll
Be what he needed just for the moment.
It won’t change the course of his life,
But it’ll make the journey a little less painful.