Tatem Herdina
Executive Poetry Editor
I cannot whistle a simple tune out into the wind
I cannot enjoy shellfish, and I’m quickly realizing how devastated I am
I cannot knit a beautiful scarf for the winter
I cannot sleep without vivid dreams that come to me like visions
I cannot do a cartwheel over soft grass
I cannot keep my brain from telling me I’m wrong
I cannot stop listening to the thoughts that whisper in my ears
I cannot live my life without SSRIs that make me fatigued
I cannot perform yoga without my heart giving out
I cannot save my mother from her terrible choices
I cannot take back the years I never knew my sister
I cannot go back in time to safe myself from 2022
I cannot see photos of my dead dog without lamenting I didn’t do better
I cannot love my body and see myself without wanting to cry
I cannot make people love me despite how desperately I cling for it
I cannot go back to my hometown without remembering the trauma
I cannot force myself to write the book I’ve been dreaming of since childhood
I cannot seem to live without pain taking over every piece of me
I cannot bring back the dead loved ones I never got to say goodbye to
I cannot write happy poems